How to know if you would like a wedding counselor

But not all the time families are healthy, stable and happy. The stress of the modern life, the need for a much better work and life balance, a family issues of one kind to another, or a mental health concerns for the family members can bring a family to their knees at any given moment.

Children with disabilities, financial stresses, behavioral challenges, and just the ages and stages of different children can create challenges that may require help solving.

 

Many families have some built-in resistance to many of these problems. But even the best families may feel the need for help beyond the family's resources. Even our family, which by all appearances is happy and stable, has seen its share of difficulties and crises.

Deciding if marriage and family therapy are right for a family can be a big decision. While it may be initially like admitting defeat, actually choosing a family counselling service can be a big step. Think of family counselling as adding a few tools to your family's relationship toolbox. You can learn new ways to communicate, solve problems, discipline yourself, and relate to each other.

If your family experiences these symptoms, it maybe the best time to consider hiring family counselling services.

• Members of the family have difficulty functioning in their normal capacity. Do you feel like your energy is drain in your family? Are things that used to be routine and normal now heavy?
• Members of the family tend to own extreme emotional reactions. Do your family members show anger, fear, sadness, depression, or other excessive emotional reactions?
• There's a major breakdown in communication between members of the family. Is it more difficult for you to communicate than usual? Do you experience a silent treatment more than usual?
• Family members are withdrawing from family life. Is there a new pattern of one or more family members in isolation?
• There are symptoms of violence or threat of violence against oneself or other family members. Beyond the normal "clowns", do you feel that violence is a problem? Is there any behavior that would be considered "assault" if it were not between family members?
• Family member’s express feelings of helplessness or hopelessness. Do you feel like you've reached the top of your rope? Is coping with stresses too much to bear? Wondering if your family will ever recover?
• There are changes in children's behavior at home or in school. Are ratings plummeting? What about the attendance and disruptive behavior in school? Are any of the children out of control at home?
• The family has had a traumatic experience and the members are having a hard time coping with it. Has there been a death in the family? A divorce or separation? An adventure discovered? Does the family have difficulties adapting to the new reality?
• Family members have substance abuse problems. Are there problems with alcohol or drug use? Does any member of the family have an eating disorder?

Finding and choosing a family therapist

Once you select on the right time for family counselling, families have the daunting task of finding and selecting the right therapist for them.

Here are some things to think about when choosing a family counselor.

How well does your insurance cover family therapy? Mental health services are now covered by insurance, but family counselling isn't always considered mental health care. Check with your employer to check if any local marriage and family therapists are covered under your insurance benefit. Identifying the therapists who participate in your health insurance plan can be a big part of the financial stress when deciding to seek professional help.

How about an employee assistance program? Many employers offer an Employee Assistance Program for his or her employees. The EAP can be a good place to start looking for therapy options. Most EAPs follow an "assessment and referral" model that will connect you with a therapist who will work for your family. And the service is generally free or has a very small copayment. Your employer's human resources department can tell you if an EAP is an option for you and how to access the EAP.

Ask your doctor. Family physicians can often refer patients to a qualified marriage and family counselling service. Having worked with other families with similar problems, family doctors often have a thought of which family therapists within the area might offer the simplest help for a family. Consider asking your doctor for recommendations.

Pastoral care. If you are affiliated with a religious community, you can ask your minister, pastor, rabbi or similar for suggestions. Often families with a powerful religious background will choose a family counselor of their own faith.

Online references. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy offers an online therapist locator service that will allow you to search by geographic area for association members.

personal recommendations. One of the best sources for therapist referrals is people who have benefited from the services of a therapist. If a family you know has been in therapy, ask them about their experience with their therapist. Learn how the therapist communicates and what specific actions they recommend to your friend.

Questions to ask. When interviewing a therapist to possibly work with your family, you should ask the following questions:

• Where did you get your professional degrees?
• Is your degree in family therapy or a related discipline?
• Who supervised your early clinical years?
• How long have you been in practice?
• what's your experience handling my specific problem?
• what's your philosophical approach to family counselling? There are different schools of thought within family therapy, and you want to know how the therapist you are choosing observes families and what kinds of strategies they use.

Deciding to turn to marriage and family counselling to deal with family problems is a big step. But it's a necessary and useful step when the family's own resources to unravel problems are insufficient, or when the issues seem insurmountable. Trying family counselling is not admitting defeat - it is an important step in helping to build a family's toolbox and resources.